Vote or Joke
By Stephen Rock

Politics, politicians and the methods of getting them into government in the first place is something which strikes a chord with all of us, no matter what side of the border or fence we sit on. The system as we know it which entails standing in a queue until identification is established before secretively making your choice by mark, could, like the polling booths themselves, be on their last legs. For what? You may ask. Well technology is the short answer.

Electronic voting is the new way. It is quicker, cleaner and a lot smarter looking than bundles of paper stacked up in front of tired looking disinterested folk. We have the Irish Government toying with the idea, hoping to have it up and running for the next election despite public disapproval. This new system, where you log into the computer using your I.D. card, gives you the option of voting for candidates of your choice, but will not give you the privilege of spoiling your vote - an art in itself, taking years of practice bestowed on only a few. Concerns have been raised by recent media reports of vote fixing in America using similar computerised voting.
Hackers demonstrated how easily it is to bypass the security system and delete or alter the outcome. This is the system responsible for getting Arnold Schwarzenegger elected Governor of California, which in the end might prove to be our saviour, as questions have to be raised when a pumped up former terminator tops the poll in any political contest.

The voting machine used, by the way, was aptly named Dee-Bold and Arnie surely was Dee-Bold-est of them all, having admitted pinching a few girls bottoms while they were admiring his muscular frame.

Modern technology is destroying the whole razzmatazz of elections and the tension of elections results. Long counts and re-counts will be a thing of the past, as the overall result will be known within hours of the polling centres closing. Where is all the fun in this? For some politicians it was the only time they looked worried or put on the spot.

We have to accept the democratic wishes of the machine with no paper trail on spoilt votes or on what count Homer Simpson was eliminated. Look out, you budding politicians; there could be one of these mod con machines coming to a polling station .

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