| Issue
No.12 Spring 2003
“Heid
o’ tha Clans” Group Seeks Compensation
Finlay
Cameron takes a satirical look at aspects of our political and sporting
culture.
A
Group known as the "Heid o’ tha Clans" has announced they
are set to mount a legal challenge in their quest to receive adequate
compensation for being displaced from their native Bonnie Scotland and
"planted" in Ulster in the early years of the 17th Century.
A prepared statement was read from the Clans chief spokesman, Billy N
O'Atim. It highlighted many of the “Clans” concerns, which included
the cost and logistical headaches in following Glasgow Rangers. Subsequently
it has been decided that after seeking the advice of a well-known Rangers
supporter and barrister, Mr. Findlay Donald Mundies QC, that an official
complaint shall be lodged seeking compensation for Rangers fans travelling
from Ulster.
“These folk were cleared off their lands in Scotland in the early
1600’s and shipped over to Ulster where they transformed the countryside
from bog, and savage infested marshes, into fertile and civil farming
land. They built the country's Industry up to include the greatest Shipyard,
Ropeworks, and Aircraft manufacturers in the world. The young men went
off to successive wars and gave their blood for the Crown", said
Mr. Donald Mundies, and he continued, "Today they ask for the mere
sum of £50 per person from Ulster attending a Rangers game. Rightly
they feel they never asked to be uprooted from their beloved Caledonia
and the fact they must now spend at least eight hours travelling to and
from Ibrox merits them with a strong case for a wee bit of compo!”
Mr. Mundies also went on to explain the Ulster Heid o' tha Clans group
were receiving strong messages of support from their counterparts in the
USA, Australia and South Africa, and combined litigation may be forthcoming.
Clan spokesman Billy N O'atim stated, "My ancestors made this country
what it is today and we have no intention of surrendering our Ulster soil.
We do not seek any form of re-settlement in Scotland at present. However,
we do worry about the demise of the Shipyard, Shorts and other traditional
workplaces oor folk toiled at, even today oor people cannae even join
the police before going through an unbalanced, discriminatory selection
process. The Rangers case will just be a wee taste of what Mundies can
do, and many more cases may follow".
This case, though simple in its origins, may develop into a major concern
for the Government, as it could open the door to myriads of civil cases
being lodged with the Courts and creating a huge backlog in legal circles.
It is rumoured that leading officials with Scottish names in the Republican
"Oorselves Alone Party" are keeping a close eye on developments.
Mr. Martin Adams and Mr. Gerry McGuinness are said to have a tacit support
for the Heid o' tha Clans cause, and would be more than willing to help
out with compensation claims.
The Oorselves Alone Party also stated that they had received similar overtures
from colleagues in Boston seeking compensation for their enforced displacement,
and its legal team of Chucky and Orla are confident that such a case could
have dire consequences upon the existing government establishments in
Dublin, London and Belfast. While litigation is at an early stage, please
continue to “watch this space” for further developments. There
could be a couple of quid in it for all of us!
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